+ THIS IS ME +

Just like what Janina San Miguel had said in Bb. Pilipinas 2008 to explain what she felt that night, I also use that popular statement to explain what I feel regarding our thesis. huhu. We only got two weeks to go before the final judgment. I'm just so anxious about it that's why I decided to blurt out what I feel in my blog. I want to let go of the tension and worry. I want to get rid of the possibility of not passing and not being able to graduate because of it. waaaaa.. I guess I and my groupmates had not yet gotten half way of our thesis. And it really scares the hell out of me. huhu.

Despite the critical situation we are in, I'm still hopeful that we'll be able to make it. I believe in my groupmates and our teamwork. Janx and Nicoy had always been very optimistic and hard-working since I teamed up with them in S.A.D. And I should believe in myself. Lately, I'm starting to lose my confidence. I should really prevent it from slipping away out of my system if I want to survive, aight? Yes, definitely! We can do this! We should do this! May God guide us. May He enlighten me, Janx, and Nicoy.

Guys, wish us luck...

Okay back to work..Ciao!

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I just turned 19 today. weeeee...I'm not getting any younger though I literally look the opposite. nyahaha..Don't get me wrong. I'm not bragging. I'm just saying that I still don't dress up like other teens my age should or I still don't dress and act like a real woman. I still love wearing chucks (stilettos are killing my feet, I must admit). Now that I'm 19, I think I should think about changing my fashion style, to be more girly. hmmm...I guess for now, I'm settling with what makes me feel comfortable, simply the real me. Damn with what other people say! Aight?

Anyway, my birthday has been a great blast. Even if my parents didn't give me a big celebration or my friends didn't give me gifts, it is still special. Their greetings for me and the smile on their faces are more than enough to tell me how blessed I am to have them in my life. I'm also overwhelmed with my distant friends who remembered my birthday. It's really so sweet of them. Weeee..They really get me laughing all day. Am I getting mushy here? Kinda. But I'm not deceiving anyone. I'm sincere.

There's ten minutes left before my birthday expires. Hehe. So, I'd like to thank my family who's loving me each and every day of my existence in this world. I thank my aunts (Auntie Jeje and Auntie Jovy) for always being my bestfriends. I thank my friends for making me feel treasured and special. I thank God for them, for all the innumerable blessings he'd given me, for the gift of life, for everything.

My wish? Secret! Can somebody stop me? I'm getting cornier around here. haha. I'm just out of my mind today. Just felt like being silly...talking to myself...in my blog..hehehehe..

Enough okay. hehe. To all the people who greeted me, thanks a bunch! I'M SO SO SO HAPPY! I love you, guyz! God bless everyone... =)

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Last Friday night, I and Tetle attended R.O.C.K (Reaching Others for Christ's Kingdom) night. Actually, it was our second time since last month when Janx invited us to come. ROCK Night is held every first Friday of the month.

It's good to be back! Really! People were so nice and friendly just like before. Some of them remembered our faces and names. Really flattering. We also got to meet our newfound friends again. lingaw masyado. The thing I really missed and anticipated for is the music jamming. Not only because it is led by Janx, our good friend, but also because we can relate to the songs. I'm a fan of Hillsong to be exact. Well, I love listening to contemporary Christian music. =) And Janx's way of singing is so sincere (though at first, I didn't expect him to sing that well; it's just too surprising for me to hear his voice having the initial impression of him being different than he really is) and his bandmates play like Hillsong does that you can't help singing along and feeling you're indeed personally singing to God. I like praising Him that way, you know, musically.

Another thing we're looking forward to is the topic to be discussed which was all about "Waiting for God's best". The moment I heard of it, I had a feeling that it has something to do with finding your partner in life. Hmmm.. And my thoughts really coincide with the discussion.

The guest speakers that evening were Pastor Bob and his wife. Her wife spoke first. She narrated her past experience with Pastor Bob when she was still his girlfriend and when they were already married. When she was still his girlfriend, she waited patiently for Pastor Bob to arrive in their meeting place though it may took her hours to wait. But when she was now his wife, she admitted her patience to wait really deteriorated. What's the difference? If you are still his girlfriend, then you cannot afford to rebuke him too much because if you complain much, then he might get irritated and annoyed, pushing him to leave you. But when you are already tied to him in marriage, you just didn't want your husband to let you wait for hours.

She then said that it's not our partners in life we are waiting for. You know who? It's God we wait for because He already has a plan for us even before we are born. We should not overtook God's plans for us because if we do, things might get out of hand and out of control that it may tend to hurt and pain us too much making our life miserable. Say for example, I still don't have a boyfriend until now. My friends already have their boyfriends and I'm the only one left in our barkada who doesn't have one so they keep on pressuring me to just accept one among the boys courting me. I am so NBSB (no boyfriend since birth)!! I'm already graduating and I had no experience at all. What a pity! If I give in to their advice to accept anyone just to have experience, then I am not doing the right thing. Most probably, I may end up getting dumped or hurt by that random guy I have picked, unable to move on with my life. But if I wait, no matter if it takes how many years, then surely, I'll be happy because the one I've chosen to love is the one I've waited God to give me. Thus, the best one.

After his wife, Pastor Bob discussed the meaning of the acronym W.A.I.T. Here it is.
W - Know God's will for you. (That will is always for your best.)
A - Anticipate for God's will. (Hope for that will to happen.)
I - Intercede. (Unceasingly pray for it.)
T - Trust in Him completely. (Just believe in His promises.)

Other side dishes included in his talk are the two kinds of death people experience when they turn toward sin: physical death and spiritual death (means your soul will be burned in hell). With it comes admitting you are a sinner, remembering always that Jesus died for your sins, and believing in His promise that when you follow Him and see Him as the way, the truth, and the life, He will give you eternal life.

It was already quarter to 10 when he finished his discussion. We even didn't notice how fast time flew. It's just that we are so into listening to their enlightening and inspiring message. The night ended with another Christian music sessions led by Janx.

A Reflection

How sure I am that God will give me the best? Hundred and one percent sure! God is all-knowing, all-loving, all-kind, and all-powerful. He knows what's best for us like our mom but more "best" than she does. He loves us too much that He even gave His son, Jesus, to be crucified on the cross to save us from sins. Thus, He will never give us someone we don't deserve, someone who will bring us pain and make us suffer. He is so kind that He really makes a way for us to meet the best person in due time. He has the power to do everything that'll be best for all of us.

I just realized that maybe God still hasn't given me "my best man" yet because He knows I'm still not ready. I still have to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually before I'll finally meet Him. And when we are both prepared, God will make a way to make our lives cross and we'll find each other. Isn't it perfect? hehe..really looking forward to it.

All you out there who still don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, don't be sad. The person you are waiting for God to give you will surely come. All it takes is patience and faith. Let us learn to W.A.I.T in God's grace and everything will turn out just fine.

Good night, amigos and amigas! God bless you all...

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