+ THIS IS ME +

Well, it took me quite a long time to recover from the result of our second defense for our major project in SAD (Systems Analysis and Design) which happened last March 12. What we do here is that we present the program output of the system analysis we made in a certain company. Our company is a hospital, the CHDCH (Community Health and Development Cooperative Hospital). The scope is quite big but we are able to comply with them.

--> before the defense
Our time schedule is 10:00 in the morning. So, we met around 8 am to wrap all things up. The day before the defense day, we conducted an error checking in the program plus we added more necessary functionalities to it. It took us until 11. I think it was near midnight already. Still, we haven't finished all the things we needed to edit. So, we assigned most of the job to Janx since he is the lead programmer. But unfortunately, Janx was not able to do all of them since he fell asleep. Well, that's no big deal. Sabutabol man siya. So, two hours before the event, we still made changes in our program. Yes, we were cramming. Ge lang! We do best when we are pressured ika nga.

--> defense time!
We waited for 30 minutes for the panelists to arrive. We were informed they were still on a photo shoot for the graduation picture. While waiting, we prayed. We were all nervous. Janx ran the program again to make sure no problems will be encountered along the program demo. Finally, they arrived. I was really shaking that time. We haven't practiced well the presentation. It's 'on-the-spot'. I took a long deep breath and started talking. It all went fine, I guess. After a few minutes of talking, we presented a demo of our program. Janx 'demoed' it. Nicoy and I prepared to back him up. Then, the panelists kept on butting in their questions. We clarified them one by one. And when we triggered the report for the SOA, shocks! There was a bug. We missed it out during the checking. Janx said that it was already fixed. Maybe there's a problem with transferring the codes to Nicoy's laptop. Supposed to be, the program should have been demoed using Janx's laptop but there's a technical failure so we use Nicoy's. Waaaaa...we just explained why it happened to the panelists. Sir Ed, the chair, and Sir John and Sir Bikoy seemed fine with it but i'm sure it was really big deduction from our points. Then, they threw many questions. We were able to explain some well but with other questions, we were trapped unfortunately. Then, they said we should have added statistics reports in our system since we are handling the entire hospital as what our title said "Hospital Information System". I told them "Sir, but those things are out of our scope". But they rebutted it is needed if we want to give good and quality services to the hospital. Then, i realized the problem is with the title. We told them we are only concentrating on patient records. They then said, "so, you should have named it patient/patient record information system". More questions and contradictions and defenses and explanations followed. Blah. Blah. Blah.

--> the verdict
We were asked to go out for a while for the panelists to have their caucus. Our friends, Tsang one of them, asked us how did it go. Then, we answered, "giprito mi, bai". But still, he kept on congratulating us. And I kept on saying, "ala pa gani, magdilang-anghel ka sana". Then, we were called. Sir Edwin started, "we decided not to really pass you, guyz, but instead give you a conditional acceptance". The moment I heard it, I felt like the whole world collapsed on my shoulder. Nicoy seemed like he's still in denial. Janx had a blank face. After the verdict, our adviser, Sir Oneil, met us. He ran down all the comments and necessary changes the panelists required us to do on our program. Janx kept drawing on a sheet of paper. Sir O noticed him and said, "si janx o murag dili na gusto maminaw". Janx said sorry. Sir O assured him that he understands what we are feeling. Nicoy kept saying "unfair man sir". I agreed. I knew we have met the scope and limitations for our program. I said there was just a misunderstanding. I asked Sir O to ask the panelists if we can just change the title and edit just the parts related to our scope. He said he'll try to convince them. I hope he can. On the other hand, we liked to meet the panelists once again to clear things up, to negotiate. Sir O had set a date but unfortunately, we were not able to meet them on the said date.

--> my feelings toward it
I'm really frustrated about it. After the defense, I went to the chapel and cried. I felt really down. We really worked hard on it especially Nicoy and Janx. We even started working on it earlier compared to others. I felt it was really unfair. It was unfair not because we are conditionally accepted but because we were asked to add those statistic reports and some financial processes that I think did not encompass the scope we had set for our program. I somehow blamed myself for what happened because I'm the one in-charge of the documentations and I decided on what title to give it. Murag ako nagbuot-buot sa title. Sakit jud ako heart ato ai! The day after that day, Janx and I chatted. He kept on saying his own opinions about what happened. Nagyawyaw jud siya. I also told him how i felt about it. I said that they don't deserve that verdict and i should take the blame. I added that I didn't exerted as much effort as they did. He told me that I shouldn't judge him like that because he never blamed me nor nicoy. It was all our fault. Kung baga daw, "it all takes two to tango". But i still can't help blaming myself. Stupid, noh? Call me stupid. You may never understand how i felt that time. He assured me that this was just God's test to see how far our faith in Him will take us and that I was just tempted by the devil. That's when I realized he's right. I shouldn't give up on this. I should never doubt God. That's what I'll do. Fight! Aja! We'll be able to do this by our team work and God's grace...Please pray for us na lng, guyz!